Parting with Problems

"you can't run away from your problems".

I still believe word choice is key. Its funny; our generation has changed the meaning of the word "cannot" so much, in fact, that it has almost completely morphed into a synonym for "may not". Now all I am able to imagine when I hear this expression is my mother with the "no" finger in my face, shaking it back-and-forth. And this time, against my character, I am not digressing and my imagery actually carries a point:

Up until recently, I thought that running away was something of a rebellion rather than ignorance. I would take a deep breath when I finally reached my "safe point" and convince myself that this had to be a distance no issue could aquire. And, yet again, I was wrong. For as the saying goes, we [literally] cannot run away from our past.

Once more, I would like to draw this experience toward Kundera. I recall a quote by him that says, "[people] shout that they want to shape a better future, but it's not true. The future is only an indifferent void no one cares about, but the past is filled with life, and its countenance is irritating, repellent, wounding, to the point that we want to destroy or repaint it. We want to be masters of the future only for the power to change the past." But this is a problem. We try to change our experiences in life by running, replacing, forgetting; and ultimately we find ourselves in an "indifferent void" not of the future but of complete ignorance. Contrary to the quote, "ignorance is bliss", this new and futuristic "ignorant bubble" takes all of the power to control our own lives completely out of our hands.Imagine wrapping up your entire being in big purple wrapping paper and giving it to your coworker as a belated birthday present. So where does this lead us? Without the past, we are no longer humans. We are, for lack of a better term within my internal dictionary, highly functioning robots.

With this being said, I believe there is a higher reason for our inability to run away from problems: Simply, we NEED the past; the horrible, gut wrenching, heart breaking past. Because without it, we are like trapped souls destined, only, for our future in purgatory.

When we die, what we lose is never the future, but the past.

"Humanization"

Take a leap off the edge into the unknown darkness, to a place where time means nothing; where everything is still. That is where I am, and that is where I wish to stay.

A wise professor once told me the only thing in life that will never change, is change. So if change is so consistent in our lives, why do we still fear it? If we continuously experience the same wonderful situation, we will never understand defeat and will have nothing to compare. I believe true happiness does not show itself through repitition; for what is joy without a bit of sorrow.

In the spirit of Prague, I read a book by Milan Kundera. He referenced a German quote, translated, "If we only have one life to live, then we might as well have never lived at all." Kundera recognized that because we only have one life, we have nothing to compare our "right" and "wrong" decisions to. But isn't that the beauty of living! Being able to make mistakes; for without these terrible decisions, we will never understand complete bliss. This is why I embrace being human.

So why not ignore time; why not jump off the ledge? There exists only two possible outcomes: the first: you hit rock bottom; which is humbling and full of wisdom. And the other: you realize, even for just a brief moment, that you can actually fly.

The most beautiful aspect of life is being capable of making mistakes.